A new star is rising Bright Idea is now our branding agency - here, it's purely me!

Attention! This will be a “vulnerable share”. An honest post about ways I have been sabotaging myself, and as such, it makes me open to judgement or getting hurt. But that doesn’t matter, because, true to Aries form, I reckon life is much too short for anything else but honesty, and because I want to share with you the solutions I’ve found to turn that shit around. (As a bonus for you, here’s a pic of me looking like Johnny from Razorlight!)

Today is the big day: I’m incredibly proud of what we have created and lived through. But today is also a day that I spent a long time resisting, especially unconsciously. Forcing me to take a stand and let go of the old, tried and tested. To really get involved in a team that has been working together for a long time, but rather as an undercover insider tip:

My husband Hans, a highly talented designer and WordPress programmer, and I, we’ll act as BRIGHT IDEA as of tonight. Now also quite officially together, making holistic, super hot branding and website shit.

And this site here remains or will become my very own, revolving around being & staying confident, offering mentoring and empowerment for women who do or create awesome stuff, with the means of yoga, music and literature, and now even called just like me: katjabrunkhorst.com. Scary!

My Personal Brand Website, this one here, will also get a relaunch this year eventually, but hey: Now finally out with it. DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT! What both projects have in common and what I definitely continue to offer here and over there, is the claim of Bright Idea: REVEALING IDENTITIES.

This relaunch process has taken just over a year and a half. “Are you stupid?”, you’ll ask yourself, um, me. There are several reasons (at least three) why this is so; why it has been so difficult for us, and for me in particular, to unveil or re-formulate and shape my and our identity. Why am I telling you all this? Because I’ve learned so much during that time, the hard way.

Will you become self-employed soon, have you already founded your own biz, or maybe you work with your husband? Then read on, you will surely resonate with what follows.

First off, here’s the problem:

1. Self-sabotage. Loves to manifest itself in the usual suspects of exaggerated perfectionism and ridiculous amounts of procrastination. Behind those are thoughts like this one: “What if we finally launch our great site, and … really succeed?” – Yes, what then? “Then we just have to work and have no more time for us or our child?” – Hmm … maybe. But that’s not the main reason. Try again! – “Then I can no longer be the child myself, the harmless one who can hide and be liked because it threatens no-one – but is visible as a grown-up business woman, even to envious competitors, trolls and critics?” – Yup. That pretty much hits the nail on the head.
2. Sentimentality. “When I founded Bright Idea four years ago, it was my baby from start to finish, the name, the logo, I mean, it all means so much, arrrrrgh, it’s MINE!” True – but look what happend to Gollum (he sends greetings)!
3. Fear of the future (OK, I’ll do something about that alliteration addiction, promise). “Working with your own husband, isn’t that a recipe for a marriage disaster?” Ouch … I had that thought quite a few times. Only to hop back into my books or onto Netflix pronto, instead of diving deeper into those feelings…at first.

But I couldn’t really call myself creative, had I not finally come up with some solutions:

1. Self-love. One way to end self-sabotage is the following insight: The recognition that I hope for can and will not come from the outside. I can only give it to myself. The end. Yes, a woman can turn 46 to fully internalize this commonplace! Luckily, I have ways and means to help me: break contacts with toxic people who pull you down or who do not believe in you (careful, I’m NOT talking about real friends who give you constructive criticism. Those, you should celebrate!), even if they are close relatives (or especially then)! Also, my coach and my mastermind group of like-minded women, who also want to achieve something and want to leave the world a bit better than they found it. Then, there is the music and the autobiographies of the feminist punk rock writers, musicians and artists who have gone or are still walking the path before me, like Viv Albertine, Kathleen Hanna or Caitlin Moran.
   
   And of course yoga, the original yoga of the heart as passed on by both Mark Whitwell or the Mohan family, direct students of Krishnamacharya’s: they teach the connection to the inner friend, who is always accessible to us, the more easily the more often we meditate, breathe, chant mantras. OM Mitraya Namaha! Also, I won’t conceal at this point that I have a wonderful psychoanalyst:

Enough already with the taboo around mental health. Let it get hip at last, like in NYC, to have a shrink! All means are justified to make a friend of your own head. For unlike the body, the mind will not heal itself if we just leave it alone – and some wounds need to be taken care of, both physically and mentally.

2. Start-up mentality. Kick your sentimentality in the buttocks. Look ahead, and trust yourself: you will not do it as well as you used to. But even better! Listening to punk rock helps. Headbanging too. Moms on the stage! “The punkest thing I’ve ever seen” was one of the comments during the first solo gig of Viv Albertine (known in the 70s as the young guitarist in the Slits) – in her mid-fifties. Be fucking fearless!

3. Super-large injection of trust, both in the relationship and the partner. Again, take a leap of faith. The funny thing is that even your relationship can benefit from a collaboration (it will benefit from you being self-employed, anyway). You muddle through so many topics that turn out to be proxies for deeper issues – and while the going gets tough, too (my GOD, how we fought during those last two years!), being together after all that is much clearer, brighter, more beautiful. Promise!

So what do I do now?

You are in the right place if you know that you want to say goodbye to your self-sabotage. When you feel that your time as a front person has come. If you’re lost for words, both for yourself and others, and if you can handle freshly mixed and occasionally cheeky input (and if you don’t mind to try new stuff, like breathing, writing or singing, and be warned: we may sometimes bounce, mosh or meditate). I am here for entrepreneurs who over-burden themselves and idealists who are out of breath. Stay in your centre, refine your (self-) consciousness and come into your own power – I can help you reinforce it. Let’s be authentic, clear and creative!

Hop onto my newsletter and I’ll send you the latest offers and blog posts about once a month – guaranteed to be honest, useful and with a helping hand for you. As a woman who creates something. From me for you, because we are

teachers healers fighters writers mothers lovers

– and the world needs us and our BRIGHT IDEAS.

OM and rock ON!
And do let me know any ideas or wishes you have regarding what I can do for you.

Yours,
Katja aka Brunkie aka multi-passionate Mami Moshpit aka Katinka Karacho. xx